Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Baby Mine

My Beautiful Caleb,

Tonight, I went to change your brother before I went to bed, and discovered he had soaked through his diaper already. With Daddy's help, we got him and his bedding changed. When we put him back in the bed, he started crying. I figured he would calm down fairly quickly so I left the room. He went from crying to screaming and crying. I decided I didn't want him to get more worked up, so I carried him into the living room to hold and rock him for a bit. I automatically began singing "Baby Mine" to calm him down. I didn't even make past the first line before I started crying. Since it seemed to be working to calm him down, I kept going. It's the first time I've sung that song since I sang it to you the day you died. I began to picture all the times I sang it to you over the years and how much you loved it. I could hear you saying, "Mommy, sing Baby Mine" when you were upset or hurting. I could almost hear your sweet voice singing it with me.

I struggled through the rest of the song, but I finished it. By the time I did, tears were freely flowing down my face. Caden looked up at me with innocence on his face and asked, "Mommy, are you okay?" I didn't quite know what to say. I told him I was okay and that I loved him very, very much. He then glanced over at the digital frame and said, "Mommy, look! It's Bubba." I just held him tighter and cried some more while kissing his little forehead. We miss you so much.

The last line of Baby Mine says, "But you're so precious to me, sweet as can be, baby of mine." that is exactly how I feel about both of you boys. I can't imagine how different my life would have been if you had never been a part of it.

I love you, baby mine,


  1. I am in tears. Caden is such a sweet boy and I know that Caleb will live on through him. Love you guys. <3

  2. My sweet Caleb,

    I was there when your mother sang that song to you. I even have a video of it and it still is very hard for me to watch. You are always in my heart and on my mind.

    For some reason today has been especially hard for me. I have been thinking how much I miss talking with you on the phone and whenever we were able to visit with each seeing you smile and running to give your Grandpa and me our hugs and kisses. You will be forever in our hearts.

    Angela, Keep singing the song to Caden and let him know how special he is to you and Richard.

    I love you my daughter.

  3. Love ya'guys.