My sweet, sweet Caleb,
I know it's been a couple weeks since I've written, but it's just so hard to put into words what I'm thinking and feeling. I do okay most days and then I sit down to write to you and the tears flow freely. I can't seem to control them. I'm not sure I really want to control them yet.
At 11:15 p.m. tonight, you will have been gone from us for exactly 10 weeks. It's hard to believe it's been only 10 weeks. It seems like so much longer. Then again, it seems like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms when you breathed your last breath. My arms ache when I think of the times I held you. They feel so empty. Your memory surrounds my every waking moment. You are constantly in my dreams. I long to see your beautiful face and hear you say you love me just one more time. I keep thinking that will be enough, but somehow I know it won't.
I still wonder frequently what you are experiencing now. What joys are you beholding in the presence of pure love? What is it like to walk and talk with Jesus face-to-face? To never be in pain again? Do you think of us often or are the wonders of Heaven more than enough?
I love you so very much and I know that my love doesn't even begin to compare to the love you now know. I believe your dad and I did the best we could to raise you the best way we knew how. I know there are times that I blew it, but I hope you know how much you mean to us and how very special you were and still are.
I love you to infinity and beyond,