This has been a bit of an emotional week for us. We worked on packing up your bedroom on Monday. It was very difficult to go through your things. Part of me wants to keep everything just the way it is. Another part wants to get rid of everything. Right now, the reminders are hard to bear. Almost every book we read to Caden was yours. Most of the toys he plays with were yours. Even the majority of his clothes are yours. I see you everywhere. It was really hard on your dad to go through the toys. We had to decide what to keep, what to give to your brother and what to get rid of. We filled a hope chest full of things and still have a couple things that won't quite fit. I told your dad that I couldn't handle seeing Caden in your clothes, especially the 4t and 5t things, so we are planning to get rid of them.
Tuesday, I went to see Mrs. Wilson at your school. The school yearbook was in already. They made sure to find pictures to include in the yearbook that had you in them. They also put together a special memorial page to you near the back. That made me cry. Then, they handed me a package of pictures of you. Apparently, when the yearbook coordinator spoke with the group that took the school pictures, the photography studio decided to send what they call a "sympathy package" of pictures to us to help keep your memory alive. It was the biggest package that could have been purchased when the pictures were taken, plus the CD with permission to print more as needed. That started me crying again. One of the things I remember saying to people was that I wished we'd gotten more of your school pictures. We had no idea when those school pictures were taken that they would be the only school pictures you would ever get to take.
Wednesday, I had a couple of appointments. Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone to watch Caden and had to take him with me. The only way I knew to keep him occupied and out of trouble was to take your DS with us. He's learning how to play Go, Diego, Go on the DS. It was difficult watching him play with it, but I guess since you're in Heaven, it's his now anyway.
Today was the Inaugural Head for the Cure 5k - North Texas. The turnout was exceptional. The organizers were originally expecting between 200 - 500 participants. Actual registration was 2,219 people!!! We also raised over $100,000 through registrations, donations, and sponsorships. Jenny ran today in your memory and placed 3rd in her age group. I can't wait until next year. I'm already working on putting together "Team Caleb" for next year's run.
We also got a new air conditioning system installed today. I'm so grateful that we won't have to worry about the air conditioner not working once the temps start getting higher.
Monday is our final MOPs meeting for this school year. I'm going to be speaking on the importance of support during times of adversity. I'm actually looking forward to it.
Honey, I want you to know that I love you so very much. You were my miracle child. I will NEVER forget you. The pain lessens a little every day, but it's still here. Thanks to a loving Savior, and a wonderful network of family and friends I'm making it through. I continue to hold onto Jesus through this time. He is my Rock, Refuge, Fortress, and Shield. He is my strength when I am weak. He is my all-in-all. I am so very thankful that we told you about Him from birth. You were raised to know who He is and how much He loves you. And now, you are experiencing that love first-hand. I stand in awe that you are in His presence and will never hurt again.
I love you,