Friday, April 15, 2011

Week 3

It's been 3 weeks since you went to Heaven. I try to imagine what you're seeing, hearing, saying and doing. Somehow, I know my wildest imaginations don't even touch the surface of what's going on in Heaven. The only things I know for certain are that you are healed, pain-free & happy. I wonder what your reaction was the first time you saw Jesus face-to-face.  I imagine you being surrounded by people you never met on earth, but somehow you still know who they are.

I remember seeing your body deteriorate over the past three months and know how frustrated you were because you couldn't do the things you used to be able to do. Right until the last, your mind was as sharp as ever and brighter than a 5-yr old should have anyway.

 It's been difficult without you. Every day something will remind me of you -- the clothes Caden is now wearing that used to be yours, the empty seat at the dinner table, Caden seeing a picture of you and saying, "look, it's Bubba!" Just walking past your bedroom is hard, and trying to keep your brother out of there until I have the strength to finish going through your things is almost more than I can bear. I lay awake at night and ask God to help ease the pain of losing you. As much as I would love to still have you here with us, I would never wish such pain on anyone.

On April 2nd, we had a celebration of your life. I had Gwen share the song I wrote for you after you were born that I sang to you every morning for almost 2 years along with a poem I wrote after you died.

Heaven Sent

Good morning little man, how are you?
Good morning little man, I love you.
You are beautiful, Heaven knows.
And I love you from your head down to your toes.

You were Heaven sent, can’t you see.
And you mean the whole wide world to me.
A precious gift sent from God above.
And you know that I will shower you with love.

How I love to hold you in my arms.
You’ll grow up with grace and full of charm.
All the things this life has planned for you…
I pray you’ll look to God for what to do.

September 4, 2005

Heaven sent, you came to us
And though we know not why
Heaven sent you were returned
When you were only five.

We taught you all about the Lord
And what it meant to love
Now we know you know it well
As you watch us from above.

Caterpillars, rainbows, gold
Those were your favorite things.
Each memory of you we have
We share what joy it brings.

We love you, our sweet Caleb,
We’ll miss your loving heart.
God had a special plan for you
And it’s time to do your part.

March 27, 2011

I love you, Caleb.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Direction of the blog

I know many people all over the world have been following Caleb's blog. Some since its inception in October 2010 & some are still finding it for the first time.

Since Caleb is no longer with us, the direction of the blog will be changing somewhat. It will be more of a letter/diary to Caleb of what the rest of us are going through without him here.

I may ask questions, I may rant, I will surely cry. But through it all, I will remain true to my faith in my Lord & Savior. I truly don't understand why this had to happen, but I know He had a reason & I trust Him completely.

The posts will probably not be as frequent as they once were, but they will still appear. You are welcome to follow along as we adjust to life without our sweet Caleb and head in a different direction.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Tribute to Caleb

Our friend, David Clowers, put together this tribute to Caleb which was shown at Caleb's Life Celebration.

Near the end of the video, is a clip of Caleb singing "Awesome God." That clip was recorded by Caleb's Aunt Jennifer the week before Caleb passed. He was having great difficulty speaking & his speech was becoming harder to understand. Though he struggled, he never stopped praising God.

The video clip at the very end is Caleb doing "The Caterpillar." This was recorded 2 weeks prior to his death. At that time, he was unable to walk & was very frustrated because we tried to get him to walk. Once he got settled back down, he says, "I can do the caterpillar." He then proceeded to do so for the doctor. This caterpillar video was taken the next day when he did it again for his physical therapist at the hospital.

The song is by Matthew West & called "The Motions."  This was Caleb's favorite song & he lived this song out. He gave his all in everything he did -- even at the end.

Thank you so very much, David, for creating this video tribute for us.

Angel, Richard & Caden